Over and over and over again…
Time has felt more slippery than ever for many of us since the beginning of the pandemic and the changes it brought to our day-to-day lives. During the workweek it can be a struggle to differentiate one day from another. A countdown to the weekend is one of the only things keeping my days of the week straight anymore.
Everyday it’s wake up, walk down the hall, log-on and start working, rinse and repeat. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the commute these days. Zero stress. No chance of traffic or a car accident. I can’t forget my lunch or coffee on the counter– they’re just downstairs! Plus, for me there’s the added bonus of being able to actually work better, with more focus, without the constant interruptions and distractions being in a workplace brings.
I’m still in disbelief that an entire month of 2022 has already passed. Where did the time go?! For me, the days became even more indistinguishable as my workweek expanded into evenings and the weekend. When so much time is taken up by work, it leaves little time for managing household tasks and personal needs.
During January, I fell down the stress cycle rabbit hole. Between getting out of habit with running, cold weather, and short daylight hours coupled with long workday hours, I just wasn’t getting the stress out of my body with any sort of physical activity. The mental drain of work meant that I felt completely spent by the time I was clocking out most days. I’d manage to muster up enough energy to get basic chores like laundry or dishes done and then collapse on the couch for some screen time to wind down/survive the rest of the day. When you add in my comfort eating, cutting sugar and cream from my coffees turned out to be a zero sum game where I ended January unhealthier than I had begun.
Over the last few weeks I have struggled with beating myself up over wiping out all of the progress I had made since August in just a few weeks time. It feels really futile at times. It was easier to stomach when the changes weren’t so noticeable in the mirror, but now I can barely look myself in the face without cringing. Logically I know that this situation can be short lived. But feelings aren’t logical. So here I am. I feel like crap and I can’t even look at my face in the mirror without averting my gaze.
Brightsides? Overtime is wrapping up for my job, so my weeks can soon return to a typical work week. I *think* I’ve found a planning strategy that works well for me. (If it continues to, I’ll be sure to put together a short post to share in case it might work for someone else too.) Spring is coming (no matter what the groundhog says!), and that means that warmer weather and longer days are heading our way here in the Northern hemisphere. Woohoo!!
As an aside, I am thoroughly grateful that I have been fortunate enough to work from home full-time since the beginning of the pandemic. I am also aware that there are people who are struggling and would be more than thankful to have the opportunity for overtime. However, being grateful for one does not negate the impact of another. Being aware that other people might be in a place where they would be more welcoming of overtime, does not make it easier to work those hours. Two things can be true. While there absolutely was a time in my life where I would not have thought twice about the physical or mental impact that working overtime had on me (I would have downed a few extra coffees or Red Bulls and just powered through, done the OTG, completely disregarding my personal well-being), being aware of the impact does make it a bit of an internal struggle between my inner people pleaser and the part of me that is striving to make sure to take care of my own needs also and finding balancing the two is not something I am an expert at.
Trial and Error Plus Hope 