About

Hello! Welcome to Trial & Error + Hope (formerly A Cheerful Spot).

No one has it all together.

Probably especially, but not exclusively, your average person. Your neighbor, your coworker, your checkout clerk, and shhh, I won’t tell anyone, but probably not you either. Certainly not me. And that is OKAY. It really, really is going to be okay.

We are rewarded by society, social media, and probably by bosses, associates, maybe even friends and family, for hiding this so-called flaw.  I mean zero hate with that statement.  We are generally socialized to project the aspiration (we’re perfect!) and expected to manage our uncomfortable realities behind closed doors.  

I’m guilty of it too.  I fear making other people uncomfortable with my own struggles or by seeing theirs.  Ahhh the WASPyness that has seeped into the fabric of society.

And on some level it might seem nice, right?  No one is burdened.  No one is uncomfortable.

Except that’s not true. The reality is, it is easy to believe what you perceive. If you believe that everyone around you, your peers, are succeeding at something, you are both likely to feel obligated to also appear to excel at whatever that is or go into debt to have it or whatever the scenario is. But at the same time it’s likely that you might feel less than because it might seem to come easy to these other people and it’s a struggle for you. In all reality, those other people may feel the very same thing, and thus the cycle continues.

I am proposing that I do my very best to share with you my struggles and stumbling blocks as well as my successes and things that have worked for me.  Sometimes it might be uncomfortable.  But here we are.  Life can be uncomfortable if we’re honest about it.  I’d like us to start a dialogue where we can feel compassion for each other and understand all that goes into getting to where we are going.

Who am I and why would you care?

My chosen name is Kris. I am early forties, cisgender, college educated, able bodied, white woman. I’m not always great in person, sometimes waxing overly positive or waning too quiet. Anxiety gets the better of me on many days. I grew up in and currently reside in the East Coast of the U.S. I also care for a brother and sister pair of black cats, adopted from a local shelter.

It’s likely that you and I may have things in common, as well as things that distinctly differentiate us.  That’s a pretty standard part of the human experience.  So is the “we all struggle sometimes” part.  So I don’t know that you’ll care, but this isn’t really about me at the end of the day.  I hope that this can be a bit of a community, where we can all come and feel a part of the experience, knowing that sometimes you might see yourself reflected, feel safe to share your story, and experience support.

But really, I’m just a person. We are both humans and our pasts have shaped our lives in some way. I want you to know that no matter what you are going through, you are not alone, you truly are not. There is always someone out there who can help you through.

We are human. We have setbacks. We have struggles. We love. We lose. We also succeed. In the end, we are human and that’s pretty special.